LA Dating: Whose bed is it anyway? 
When you’ve been hooking up or dating someone for a while and you get to that “staying in” stage, a sleep over is the next step. Even if you haven’t gotten to that cozy setting just yet, and it’s one of those wild drunkie nights, the question of “whose place?” will be on the horizon.
Usually the host, meaning your boy, will be courteous enough to prolong the evening but sometimes that’s not the case. If you are doing the hosting then most likely you’ll be stuck doing the cleaning and making sure you look flawless as he wakes up. The hashtag “I Woke Up Like This” didn’t start from nothin’. 
In the past, some of the losers that I’ve dated have all wanted to stay at my place. And the ballers “needed their Tempur-Pedic” so my apartment was not even a question. 
I think it’s safe to say that any guy that doesn’t want you at their place is either hiding a girlfriend, a boyfriend, or a body. Nothing screams RED FLAG like a guy not wanting you inside his home. 
Personally, I am a HUGE fan of sleepovers. Shit, I have sleeperovers at my boys just to getaway from my apartment. Then again, I’m smack dab in the middle of West Hollywood where silence is not considered golden.
Rule of thumb, I think that the guy should always offer his place first and that we should most definitely accept. You can learn a lot about a man by the way he treats his habitat. In some cases this can also make or break the relationship. I mean, no one wants to date a dude who’s got moldy pizza under his bed or dildo’s in his dresser drawer.      
Also, think about it this way, if he gets any STD’s or foot fungi you’ll be the first to know since you have the VIP entrance to his medicine cabinet.
They always say “Better safe than sorry!”

LA Dating: Whose bed is it anyway? 

When you’ve been hooking up or dating someone for a while and you get to that “staying in” stage, a sleep over is the next step. Even if you haven’t gotten to that cozy setting just yet, and it’s one of those wild drunkie nights, the question of “whose place?” will be on the horizon.

Usually the host, meaning your boy, will be courteous enough to prolong the evening but sometimes that’s not the case. If you are doing the hosting then most likely you’ll be stuck doing the cleaning and making sure you look flawless as he wakes up. The hashtag “I Woke Up Like This” didn’t start from nothin’. 

In the past, some of the losers that I’ve dated have all wanted to stay at my place. And the ballers “needed their Tempur-Pedic” so my apartment was not even a question. 

I think it’s safe to say that any guy that doesn’t want you at their place is either hiding a girlfriend, a boyfriend, or a body. Nothing screams RED FLAG like a guy not wanting you inside his home. 

Personally, I am a HUGE fan of sleepovers. Shit, I have sleeperovers at my boys just to getaway from my apartment. Then again, I’m smack dab in the middle of West Hollywood where silence is not considered golden.

Rule of thumb, I think that the guy should always offer his place first and that we should most definitely accept. You can learn a lot about a man by the way he treats his habitat. In some cases this can also make or break the relationship. I mean, no one wants to date a dude who’s got moldy pizza under his bed or dildo’s in his dresser drawer.      

Also, think about it this way, if he gets any STD’s or foot fungi you’ll be the first to know since you have the VIP entrance to his medicine cabinet.

They always say “Better safe than sorry!”

LA Dating: The Swoop
In LA we have a shortage of PC’s; also know as the perfect catches. A perfect catch is a guy who is; available, young, hot, tall, intelligent, and financially stable. When one of these (almost extinct creatures) come along, the hooks come out because every single hopeless romantic girl dreams of marrying one. Some girls are even willing to put their friendships on the line when finding this glorious “Blue Marlin” in hopes that he will finally be the one to end their search in our mediocre, overpopulated, fish market; AKA the LA dating scene.
Are we really willing to risk our best friends over someone that we think could be the one? In the past few weeks it has become obvious to me that the answer to that is YES! Us late 20 to early 30 something girls are apparently so desperate to be in relationships that we are all doing the “swoop” to your friends with no remorse. Why? We are hoping that the new shinny guy that just popped out of nowhere could be Mr. Right.
If you haven’t been swooped, then you have some great friends and surround yourself with valuable people that actually respectful you as a human being. Congrats! 
For the rest of you, the “swoop” is when one of your friends likes a guy and makes it very clear that she is interested in him, yet you still go after him and succeed in the process. This is usually done when the “friend” feels that your new guys is a better fit for her or just out of spite because she’s a jealous skank and wants to ruin your parade.
Here are a few scenarios of the “swoop”: 
You are at a bar with a few of your girlfriends for a birthday. One of your besties brings over a guy that she just met on the patio and introduces him to everyone. They are clearly flirting yet you start to like him as you watch the two of them giggle continuously. Just as she excuses herself to use the lou, you sit beside him and start up a conversation. SWOOP! He didn’t even see it coming and neither did she and now that fish is no longer in her pond. She is out and you are in and you can most definitely start preparing for those hate texts ahead. 
Your best friend invites you to a small gathering and says that the guy that she is somewhat dating called a buddy just for you. It’s supposed to be a low-key night with some cocktails and games so it seems like everything should run smoothly. You know that your friend will be with her guys and hopefully your semi blind date will be up to par so you can canoodle by the fire as well. Little did you know your friend, who had orchestrated this mini get-together, quickly changed her feelings as soon as she saw Prince Charming appear (your blind date). You didn’t think twice that in a few hours you were going to be left out of the bedroom wondering what just happened. SWOOP! Your so-called best friend just completely cocked blocked you and decided to take the floating plus one and ditch her main guy for “your” guy. She clearly thought that this new pretty object was better than what she was used to and she went for it. You can never be too careful even in a situation that seemed so apparent from the get-go. In this case she was clearly the Paraná and you were just a goldfish. So next time, no matter how evident the scenario may be don’t be oblivious to the fact that there are always overt signs that will make or break the night since everyone has ulterior motives. (oopsies)
You are at a club and vibing with a gorgeous guy at your friend’s table. Everything is going great meaning that the drinks are flowing, your dance moves are in full effect, and you guys are just having the time of your life. Everyone in the entire club can see the sparks between you two and you can’t shake your smile even if someone slapped you in the face. At some point when you turn your back to have a quick chat with an old acquaintance, your friend starts up a conversation with your new found crush. SWOOP! You can kiss the last hour of your time goodbye because she just went in for the kill and gave him the “come fuck me eyes” which guys are absolutely defenseless to. This is the easiest swoop of them all and usually leads to nothing in the end because it’s a club and he’s looking for a quickie.
Ladies when you get the swoop don’t be a desperado and try to woo him back. If the guy is truly interested in you then he will reject the urge for something easy and her attempts will be worthless.
It’s honestly very rare for the swoopie to end up happily ever after with Mr. Rightnow. Most likely this situation leads to drama and a horrible demise to a wonderful friendship.
The point that I’m trying to make is that no matter how much you think you have the guy you can never be too sure. Don’t think that “keeping your eye’s on the prize” will help you in anyway. He will just think you’re a stalker and block you. At the end of the day, boys will be boys, and they are all horn dogs so I suppose all you can do is be your fabulous self and hope that you don’t get swooped by your friends.   
Unfortunately we live in a world of infidelity, trickery and selfishness.

LA Dating: The Swoop

In LA we have a shortage of PC’s; also know as the perfect catches. A perfect catch is a guy who is; available, young, hot, tall, intelligent, and financially stable. When one of these (almost extinct creatures) come along, the hooks come out because every single hopeless romantic girl dreams of marrying one. Some girls are even willing to put their friendships on the line when finding this glorious “Blue Marlin” in hopes that he will finally be the one to end their search in our mediocre, overpopulated, fish market; AKA the LA dating scene.

Are we really willing to risk our best friends over someone that we think could be the one? In the past few weeks it has become obvious to me that the answer to that is YES! Us late 20 to early 30 something girls are apparently so desperate to be in relationships that we are all doing the “swoop” to your friends with no remorse. Why? We are hoping that the new shinny guy that just popped out of nowhere could be Mr. Right.

If you haven’t been swooped, then you have some great friends and surround yourself with valuable people that actually respectful you as a human being. Congrats! 

For the rest of you, the “swoop” is when one of your friends likes a guy and makes it very clear that she is interested in him, yet you still go after him and succeed in the process. This is usually done when the “friend” feels that your new guys is a better fit for her or just out of spite because she’s a jealous skank and wants to ruin your parade.

Here are a few scenarios of the “swoop”: 

You are at a bar with a few of your girlfriends for a birthday. One of your besties brings over a guy that she just met on the patio and introduces him to everyone. They are clearly flirting yet you start to like him as you watch the two of them giggle continuously. Just as she excuses herself to use the lou, you sit beside him and start up a conversation. SWOOP! He didn’t even see it coming and neither did she and now that fish is no longer in her pond. She is out and you are in and you can most definitely start preparing for those hate texts ahead. 

Your best friend invites you to a small gathering and says that the guy that she is somewhat dating called a buddy just for you. It’s supposed to be a low-key night with some cocktails and games so it seems like everything should run smoothly. You know that your friend will be with her guys and hopefully your semi blind date will be up to par so you can canoodle by the fire as well. Little did you know your friend, who had orchestrated this mini get-together, quickly changed her feelings as soon as she saw Prince Charming appear (your blind date). You didn’t think twice that in a few hours you were going to be left out of the bedroom wondering what just happened. SWOOP! Your so-called best friend just completely cocked blocked you and decided to take the floating plus one and ditch her main guy for “your” guy. She clearly thought that this new pretty object was better than what she was used to and she went for it. You can never be too careful even in a situation that seemed so apparent from the get-go. In this case she was clearly the Paraná and you were just a goldfish. So next time, no matter how evident the scenario may be don’t be oblivious to the fact that there are always overt signs that will make or break the night since everyone has ulterior motives. (oopsies)

You are at a club and vibing with a gorgeous guy at your friend’s table. Everything is going great meaning that the drinks are flowing, your dance moves are in full effect, and you guys are just having the time of your life. Everyone in the entire club can see the sparks between you two and you can’t shake your smile even if someone slapped you in the face. At some point when you turn your back to have a quick chat with an old acquaintance, your friend starts up a conversation with your new found crush. SWOOP! You can kiss the last hour of your time goodbye because she just went in for the kill and gave him the “come fuck me eyes” which guys are absolutely defenseless to. This is the easiest swoop of them all and usually leads to nothing in the end because it’s a club and he’s looking for a quickie.

Ladies when you get the swoop don’t be a desperado and try to woo him back. If the guy is truly interested in you then he will reject the urge for something easy and her attempts will be worthless.

It’s honestly very rare for the swoopie to end up happily ever after with Mr. Rightnow. Most likely this situation leads to drama and a horrible demise to a wonderful friendship.

The point that I’m trying to make is that no matter how much you think you have the guy you can never be too sure. Don’t think that “keeping your eye’s on the prize” will help you in anyway. He will just think you’re a stalker and block you. At the end of the day, boys will be boys, and they are all horn dogs so I suppose all you can do is be your fabulous self and hope that you don’t get swooped by your friends.   

Unfortunately we live in a world of infidelity, trickery and selfishness.

UNA W/ KING + KCRW DJ ANTHONY VALADEZ

Thu. 07/17 | 7:00PM Santa Monica Pier

I’ll be there!

In a remarkably short period of time, Yuna has risen from regional D.I.Y. notoriety to full-on international stardom. In the process, the charismatic young singer-songwriter from Malaysia—who makes her Verve Records debut with Nocturnal—has become the first artist from her homeland to conquer the American market. The ease with which Yuna has transitioned to border defying mainstream success shouldn’t be surprising, considering the effortlessly universal appeal of her organic blend of contemporary pop, acoustic folk and soulful R&B. 

LA Dating: Cheapo’s

I know that some of you 30 something guys have amazing industry jobs that pay buku dollars and some of you guys are holding down two mediocre positions just to pay the bills. Dating can get expensive and it’s difficult to keep wooing your girl when you’re financially unstable. My advice to you poor folk is to just not date at all. There is nothing more unattractive than a guy who can’t hold his own and asks for a contribution. If you’re a man than you’ll take care of dinner, lunch, breakfast…whatever!

Yes, there has been a bit of a role reversal as a lot of us girls now have the ability to be independent since we have well paying jobs that give us security. Just because we can take care of ourselves doesn’t mean that you guys get away with being stingy.

As a little girl I was always taught that the guy should be the breadwinner and financially take care of the woman. Then again, I grew up in a super old school Russian family so that was not even a question and a prerequisite.

Last year I broke up with a guy because of this exact situation. I fell in love with someone who lived in San Francisco and moved my entire life to be with him. Meaning, I sublet my apartment and left my family and friends behind (thank god I didn’t get rid of my apartment). I instantly got a job, but he was still making double my salary so when the question of rent came up I was completely baffled. The fact that he would actually ask me to contribute to rent when I was sharing a two bedroom apartment with him and his roommate left a bad taste in my mouth. I guess you can say that this was such a huge turn off that I immediately knew that this relationship was doomed. I wasn’t happy, my job didn’t turn out the way that I wanted it to; so I packed up and shipped out back to LA where I belong.

BTW – I don’t suggest moving to SF if you’re a good-looking girl because there are entrance fee’s everywhere you go. Who pays to get into a club? You should be paying me to improve your venues ambiance since these girls are wearing circa 1998 UGG boots and their college sweaters. Have you bitches heard of Louboutin’s? #puhlease 

Anyway, I’m not a gold-digger in any way but there’s an unspoken language when it comes to this kind of a circumstance. When someone uproots and leaves their life behind to start fresh in a new city to be with the one they love, and their better half makes double your income; don’t ask them for rent money! I was more than happy to contribute to the utilities, provide groceries, and occasionally cook which I think is the appropriate thing to do in this case. Till this day, it’s still mind boggling to me that this asshole had the audacity to actually ask to split rent when he’s making bank. 

Bottom line, there’s nothing worse than a cheapo!

A few guys that I spoke with are all up for this 50/50 relationship idea that I think is absolutely bonkers. In my opinion, if you want a 50/50 relationship then you’re getting a 50/50 wondering eye.  Why should I stay with you when I am financially stable and can leave at any given moment? What’s the momentum holding me back from finding someone better that can provide more? 

To my understanding, the main reason why we want to be in relationships is because we want love, affection and stability. If the man is not providing properly, guess what, there’s somebody better that will. 

Cut this equal responsibility crap out. If you’re a guy and you can’t offer 75%; I’m walking. My 25% includes; wardrobe, trips, spontaneous adventures and sexy lingerie nights in. If you’re not down with that, there’s someone that is.

Thanks (name concealed), I hope you find that special someone that can keep up with your dance moves and your 50/50 power couple request. As for me, I’m glad I made the right choice and moved back to LA because…