LA Dating: The Swoop
In LA we have a shortage of PC’s; also know as the perfect catches. A perfect catch is a guy who is; available, young, hot, tall, intelligent, and financially stable. When one of these (almost extinct creatures) come along, the hooks come out because every single hopeless romantic girl dreams of marrying one. Some girls are even willing to put their friendships on the line when finding this glorious “Blue Marlin” in hopes that he will finally be the one to end their search in our mediocre, overpopulated, fish market; AKA the LA dating scene.
Are we really willing to risk our best friends over someone that we think could be the one? In the past few weeks it has become obvious to me that the answer to that is YES! Us late 20 to early 30 something girls are apparently so desperate to be in relationships that we are all doing the “swoop” to your friends with no remorse. Why? We are hoping that the new shinny guy that just popped out of nowhere could be Mr. Right.
If you haven’t been swooped, then you have some great friends and surround yourself with valuable people that actually respectful you as a human being. Congrats!
For the rest of you, the “swoop” is when one of your friends likes a guy and makes it very clear that she is interested in him, yet you still go after him and succeed in the process. This is usually done when the “friend” feels that your new guys is a better fit for her or just out of spite because she’s a jealous skank and wants to ruin your parade.
Here are a few scenarios of the “swoop”:
You are at a bar with a few of your girlfriends for a birthday. One of your besties brings over a guy that she just met on the patio and introduces him to everyone. They are clearly flirting yet you start to like him as you watch the two of them giggle continuously. Just as she excuses herself to use the lou, you sit beside him and start up a conversation. SWOOP! He didn’t even see it coming and neither did she and now that fish is no longer in her pond. She is out and you are in and you can most definitely start preparing for those hate texts ahead.
Your best friend invites you to a small gathering and says that the guy that she is somewhat dating called a buddy just for you. It’s supposed to be a low-key night with some cocktails and games so it seems like everything should run smoothly. You know that your friend will be with her guys and hopefully your semi blind date will be up to par so you can canoodle by the fire as well. Little did you know your friend, who had orchestrated this mini get-together, quickly changed her feelings as soon as she saw Prince Charming appear (your blind date). You didn’t think twice that in a few hours you were going to be left out of the bedroom wondering what just happened. SWOOP! Your so-called best friend just completely cocked blocked you and decided to take the floating plus one and ditch her main guy for “your” guy. She clearly thought that this new pretty object was better than what she was used to and she went for it. You can never be too careful even in a situation that seemed so apparent from the get-go. In this case she was clearly the Paraná and you were just a goldfish. So next time, no matter how evident the scenario may be don’t be oblivious to the fact that there are always overt signs that will make or break the night since everyone has ulterior motives. (oopsies)
You are at a club and vibing with a gorgeous guy at your friend’s table. Everything is going great meaning that the drinks are flowing, your dance moves are in full effect, and you guys are just having the time of your life. Everyone in the entire club can see the sparks between you two and you can’t shake your smile even if someone slapped you in the face. At some point when you turn your back to have a quick chat with an old acquaintance, your friend starts up a conversation with your new found crush. SWOOP! You can kiss the last hour of your time goodbye because she just went in for the kill and gave him the “come fuck me eyes” which guys are absolutely defenseless to. This is the easiest swoop of them all and usually leads to nothing in the end because it’s a club and he’s looking for a quickie.
Ladies when you get the swoop don’t be a desperado and try to woo him back. If the guy is truly interested in you then he will reject the urge for something easy and her attempts will be worthless.
It’s honestly very rare for the swoopie to end up happily ever after with Mr. Rightnow. Most likely this situation leads to drama and a horrible demise to a wonderful friendship.
The point that I’m trying to make is that no matter how much you think you have the guy you can never be too sure. Don’t think that “keeping your eye’s on the prize” will help you in anyway. He will just think you’re a stalker and block you. At the end of the day, boys will be boys, and they are all horn dogs so I suppose all you can do is be your fabulous self and hope that you don’t get swooped by your friends.
Unfortunately we live in a world of infidelity, trickery and selfishness.