LA Dating: Losing Battle
What is the logical reasoning for us wanting something that we cannot have? With so many fish in the sea I still don’t understand why we go after someone that is not interested in us. Is it honestly possible to genuinely change a person’s heart with persistence?
Most of the time if it was a no-go from the get-go then you should probably just let-go.
I definitely think that people can develop love for one another after spending copious amounts of time learning things about each other. Opening up to another individual with your feeling, fears and family issues is a big deal and not everyone gets that privilege. You have to be extremely “special” to receive that top-secret information. Most of us just give the bare synopses to the passerbyers and only a select few get the key to the diary.
Actually falling in love with someone is a feeling that consumes your very wellbeing. You think about that person 24/7, your face lights up when you get a text or a call from them, and all you want to do is make them happy; some might call it “True Love”. We don’t hear this often because the only people that have experienced this are couples from the 60’s that “found love in a hopeless place” and are currently in their 30th year of marital bliss.
So, if one person falls in love with a “special” someone but the other person doesn’t feel the same way about him or her, what happens next? Do you move on and give up or do you stick it out for a while and see if you can change their mind?
I for one have been running after my ex like a sad puppy for almost three years. I know that sounds extremely pathetic, downright embarrassing and I’m not proud of it. I fell HARD for him and unfortunately he didn’t feel the same way about me. I didn’t want to give up so I thought that I would do the unthinkable and try to change his mind with time (not a good call on my part). I figured that if I was there for him emotionally and physically, long enough, then he would come to his senses and realize that I was his rock and would go above and beyond to make him happy. After almost three years I knew him like the back of my hand so that comfort level was definitely there since I knew all of his likes, dislikes and future goals. I was his number one fan but he didn’t see it, so this weekend I finally threw in the towel and gave up.
Here’s the skinny; having mutual friends, I saw him at the same pool party and got instant butterflies in my stomach. He was running on 3 hours of sleep and a few too many bottles of booze so I wasn’t amused in the least bit with his behavior.
Right away I knew that something was off. I didn’t feel a certain way that I usually felt when I saw him. Meaning the spark was gone! He was distant and cold, the fireworks that we usually had were missing, and there was a huge physical gap between us. He wasn’t trying to talk to me at all and I wasn’t really reciprocating either. I knew right there and then that I no longer wanted to chase this mirage since all of my efforts went down the drain along with my dignity.
He had zero respect for me and made it very clear with his actions and verbal insults.
I can’t help but wonder if he actually caved in and become my boyfriend would I even want him anymore? Was I chasing him all this time because he was unattainable and didn’t even actually love him, just the idea of him? No, no, no… I definitely loved him, 100%, and cared about him more than anyone but I made some poor decisions throughout our affair.
It’s sad to say but after this weekend I really feel like a bozo for wasting all this time on someone that had no intension of ever giving me the time of day.
Well, all that I can say is lesson learned! Chasing after someone is never a good idea and reeks of desperation. If the spark isn’t there from the start, don’t linger around hoping to change his mind; it’s a losing battle.
They say that if you love something let it go, if it comes back then it’s meant to be. Let fate decide your destiny, never force it.