LA Dating: The Grieving Period
It’s come to my attention that some guys out there just can’t seem to be alone or let alone grieve over a demise of a relationship even for a day. First of all this is not healthy and second of all it sounds like a cry for a psychiatric evaluation. Every time that I have ever broken things off with a guy or vise versa I take time to myself to evaluate the relationship, out way the good and the bad, and come to terms that it just wasn’t meant to be. Well, not exactly true, I tried to reconcile and fix what was broken, but let’s face it; sometimes you just can’t mend the inevitable. But, regardless, I would never just rush into a new companionship in fears of being alone.
Taking time to yourself to think, cry, and be sad over a breakup is healthy and natural. There is nothing wrong with putting on Celine Dion, Sade, and some Mariah Carey and just letting it all out. This is the time that you really should reach out and appreciate your friends for being there and helping you cope through a bit of a depression period.
Now, guys that are too quick to call their ex’s back and rekindle a lingering flame is more of a desperate rebound; it’s really pathetic. Let’s face it, there is no way that you can get over a girl that you loved in one day, let alone completely stop thinking about her. Guys that are upset, hurt, and genuinely loved the person that the relationship ended with will act out and to try to get a rise out of her. This is because they themselves are extremely upset about the breakup and are coping in their own immature way. Apparently this is the new way of getting someone back or pissing them off? Not sure what’s all about, but getting countless text messages and phones calls from his booty call of the night is definitely not the way to defuse any situation. It just stirs the pot to a breaking point, which never sees the light of reconciliation in the future, not that there should be.
Drama is never a way to get someone back, make things right, or heal your broken heart. Being by yourself, evaluating your life, and learning from this experience is what you really need to do instead of lashing out and making a mockery of yourself.
Two people that truly love each other will try to make it work no matter what; even if it means to put their needs and wants aside for the other person’s happiness. A relationship is a 50/50 production and there has to be mutual understanding, trust, and most of all compromise. If one person is giving 75% then there will be problems because that’s just not how it works.
I think when getting into a new romance you kind of sit back and analyze your future hubby to see what his likes, needs, and wants are and try to accommodate him. But, if he doesn’t reciprocate and just keeps going about his life without trying to accommodate you, that’s just selfish.
Bottom line, relationships are hard and it only gets tougher as they prolong. Maybe that’s partly why there are so many single Angeleno’s out there in our dating pool. It’s a lot easier to be single, not have to worry about calling or texting your boy back, or dealing with feeling and emotions.
I was too quick to jump into a 0-100 relationship and even though those past two weeks were amazing, I sure do regret all the heartache and drama that came along with it in such a short period of time.
Sometimes you really should just leave the past in the past. It ended for a reason back then and just because it’s been 9 years, some people don’t change or grow up. I’m turning 30 in two months, I’m looking for a guy who’s ambitious, has goals, wakes up in the morning with a plan in mind, and is hygienic. Is it too much to ask for?
I mean, come on cupid…. sometime this century!